The Apigolypse

Forget about global warming for just a minute. Set aside your fears of national bankruptcy and economic collapse. If you’re looking for calamities, this is really serious: One quarter of the world’s hog population could die from a devastating strain of African swine fever, reports USA Today.

How apocalyptic is the situation? Just ask Mark Schipp, president of the World Organization for Animal Health: “I don’t think the species will be lost, but it’s the biggest threat to the commercial raising of pigs we’ve ever seen. It’s the biggest threat to any commercial livestock of our generation.”

He doesn’t think the species will be lost? That’s reassuring.

The paucity of news coverage suggests to me that people aren’t taking this nearly seriously enough. Let me tell you, if world health officials said that one quarter of all dogs on the planet were destined for the big kennel in the sky, the story would be massive. If one quarter of felines on the planet were headed for kitty kingdom come, the story might be played even bigger (although there might be some celebration mixed in with the caterwauling).

All I can say is that it’s a darn good thing that there are plenty of feral pigs out there — no thanks to the Washington Post!! Commercial hog raising may go under, but as long as pigs roam free, we won’t have to worry about the species becoming extinct!

Lucky thing the United States is sitting on a 40 million-pound surplus of uneaten bacon, a 48-year high. As it turns out, it may not be nearly enough.

— JAB