Satire: Lexington’s Battle of the Statues

by Thomas Moncure

The Virginia Military Institute removed the statue of former Professor (and Confederate General) Thomas J. Jackson from the front of barracks. In doing so they have meekly emulated the sterling example of the City of Richmond and other places. Cleansing the landscape of offensive historical figures is now the touchstone of our times.

Much remains to be done at VMI. The statue of Virginia Mourning Her Dead must come down. The sculptor, Sir Moses Ezekiel, fought for slavery as a member of the Corps of Cadets at the Battle of New Market. His fellow Cadets buried at the base of the statue, who also fought for slavery, must be disinterred and removed. Perhaps they can be reburied wherever Washington & Lee University determines to place the deceased Lees when they are expelled from the University (formerly Lee) Chapel.

But the most offensive statue is that of the avowed segregationist George C. Marshall.

It was General Marshall who announced that “it is the policy of the War Department not to intermingle colored and white enlisted personnel in the same regimental organization.” A recent biographer noted that Marshall was “a blend of indifference and condescension … driven by racist beliefs.” How can his statue be permitted to stand?

The only historical figure who appears to have avoided purging – thus far – is George Washington. His wealth was created (in addition to marrying well) on the backs of hundreds of slaves. He also exercised considerable effort in retrieving escaped slaves, and resorted to subterfuge to keep his favorite slaves in bondage. No accomplishments or heroic actions, however substantial, should be permitted to erase the taint of slavery and racism.

VMI has consistently presented itself as paragon of leadership. On the campus still stands a statue of George Washington, no less than a copy of the Houdon original in the Rotunda of Virginia’s Capitol. This presents an opportunity to boldly demonstrate leadership for the entire nation.

It is long past time when George Washington should be consigned to the memory hole. Eradicating him from history will allow great latitude in creatively inventing a past worthy of the present. The country needs to be rid of the irredeemably racist example of George Washington.

It’s the 21st Century. VMI can and should lead in this important mission. Combined with W&L’s efforts to banish politically incorrect dead animals, they could make Lexington, Virginia, the center of the known woke universe. Topple the Washington statue!

Thomas Moncure lives in Colonial Beach.

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31 responses to “Satire: Lexington’s Battle of the Statues”

  1. JonathanSwifter Avatar

    Don’t give people ideas….

    Civil War and American Revolution tours of northern Virginia via:

  2. Jake Niner Avatar
    Jake Niner

    Poor Traveller and his racist thoughts…..Ampersand University is so dead to this Mink…

    1. SmallTowner Avatar

      The local Lexington newspaper, The News Gazette, in its July 19 issue, covered this story. It seems that someone noticed the old plaque was removed and jumped to conclusions and posted a photo on social media and stirred up a firestorm. Here is a quote from that news story that should lay that rumor to rest with a statement from W & L: “The statement noted that Traveller’s remains are “untouched”and that a new marker has been installed. “The other related plaques and interpretive signage at the site will also be updated,” the statement reads. The former UDC marker at the site read, “TRAVELLER, Horse of GEN. ROBERT E.
      LEE, placed by VIRGINIA DIV UDC, May 8, 1971.” The new sign installed by W&L last week reads, “TRAVELLER, 1857-1871.” The old plaque is now in their museum, according to the rest of the article. I hope this information clears up this non-issue.

      1. Wait. You mean those old bones I bought from that traveling salesman are fakes?

        I am outraged. Outraged, I say!!

      2. Lefty665 Avatar

        So they removed Lee’s name and the UDC identification of who placed the marker.

        Seems pretty childish and churlish to me. Did they pay for it with public money?

        1. SmallTowner Avatar

          They are a private university.

  3. Warmac9999 Avatar

    Communism demands the destruction of the past.

  4. William O'Keefe Avatar
    William O’Keefe

    George Orwell was right. “The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” We can only be a better people and better nation by facing up to the reality of our past and that most of the icons of our past were neither all good or all bad. The were flawed humans just as we are.

  5. James Kiser Avatar
    James Kiser

    Never under estimate to power of stupid people who are afraid of ghosts.

  6. Not satire, but reality.

    See Ignorance Erases George Wythe at a Virginia Community College posted earlier today.

    Make no mistake. they are coming for George Washington as soon as they have finished off Thomas Jefferson.

    1. James Wyatt Whitehead Avatar
      James Wyatt Whitehead

      The left really thinks this way. Worse than carpenter bees.

      1. Lefty665 Avatar

        Please don’t short change lemmings.

      2. DJRippert Avatar

        “Please don’t include us in comparisons with the left.”

        – The Carpenter Bees

    2. Matt Adams Avatar
      Matt Adams

      Given the membership the Renaming Committee and their infinite wisdom to remove a statute from a cemetery, nothing is indeed safe.

    3. Lefty665 Avatar

      There was a commission in D.C. that recommended renaming the Washington Monument. Don’t recall if they wanted it torn down too.

      1. And they have moved the goal posts. At first, those who oppressed blacks or owned slaves were the only ones who must have their names removed from monuments, buildings, etc.

        Now, according to that DC Commission, anyone who did not represent the values of “empowering and uplifting African Americans and other communities of color”* during their lifetime is ripe for a revenge cancellation.

        * This quote is straight from the commission’s report to the mayor.

        1. Lefty665 Avatar

          You were right on in your original comment too. In D.C. they didn’t think they could go after the Washington Monument until they’d gotten rid of the Jefferson Memorial.

          I’m waiting for the statue honoring Marion Barry for his quest to get crack off the streets of D.C. one gram at a time.

          1. James Wyatt Whitehead Avatar
            James Wyatt Whitehead
          2. Lefty665 Avatar

            Oh S***. Guess I have to be more careful what I wish for.:)

          3. It should be noted that his fervor for, among other things, equality, led him to become a “champion of the people”.


            Not “equity”.

            Interesting. And probably why, at some point in the future, even that statue will have to come down….

          4. Lefty665 Avatar

            Not to mention his conversion of the D.C. government into an employment program.

          5. Matt Adams Avatar
            Matt Adams

            Mr. Barry showed us you can still be a successful mayor of D.C. even if you were arrested for smoking crack.

            I guess Hunter, said hold my pipe.

          6. Lefty665 Avatar

            Marion was Hunter’s role model perhaps, although Barry did not “blow” the kind of money Hunter did on crack and prostitutes. Marion was a piker by comparison. He did however spread an awful lot of D.C. government money around the District. That’s how he got to be Mayor for Life.

    4. Nancy Naive Avatar
      Nancy Naive

      The satire was in saying it was satire. But then, I expect little from a place where the inhabitants thought Lee-Jackson-King Day was okay.

      And this, too, shall pass.

      1. I don’t know.

        Lee-Jackson-King Day seemed pretty equitable to me. It gave everybody someone to honor no matter their core beliefs.

        And equity is what we are striving for, right?


        1. Lefty665 Avatar

          I sometimes thought the sequence could have been King Jackson Lee Day. 🙂

          1. I like it.

          2. Lefty665 Avatar

            There’s little known stories about RE’s half brother Jackson and Washington’s half brother Vernon, who he named his mansion after, going to South America to fight with Simon Bolivar for freedom. They deserve their own statues and military bases named after them, and to assume their rightful place in America’s pantheon of heroes. 🙂

          3. Sorry. Even though Simone Bolivar gave up all he owned to fight for freedom and against slavery he did own slaves at one point. Therefore, under the new rules of history, he and anyone who associated with him are not worthy of being honored in any way.

          4. Lefty665 Avatar

            Oh man, is nothing sacred? Can we at least bury them with Traveller? 🙂

          5. Sorry. Even though Simone Bolivar gave up all he owned to fight for freedom and against slavery he did own slaves at one point. Therefore, under the new rules of history, he and anyone who associated with him are not worthy of being honored in any way.

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