Mullah Nichol

A friend of mine, whom I will identify only by his nom de plume, Veritatus, has offered the following satire of the Wrenn cross controversy at William & Mary. I will say only this about our pseudonymous contributor: He, like me, is not particularly religious. But he, like me, is distressed by political correctness that expunges our historical heritage. Unlike me, he is a W&M alumnus, which means he’s reaallllyy mad.

This happened in early 2001…

In Afghanistan supreme Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar has issued an edict against un-Islamic graven images, which means all idolatrous images of humans and animals. As a result, the Taliban are destroying all ancient sculptures. Explosives, tanks, and anti-aircraft weapons blew apart two colossal images of the Buddha in Bamiyan Province, 230 kilometers (150 miles) from the capital of Kabul.

Let’s fast forward to late 2006…

At the College of William and Mary in Virginia, Supreme PC Taliban Mullah Gene Nichol has issued an edict against all un-PC images, most notably the Christian cross or any other artifacts of the College’s unfortunate past linked to the Church of England, the Protestant Episcopal Church in Virginal or any other historical references to Christian or other religious connections that that College may have had. Mullah Nichol indicated that by starting in the chapel by removal of the altar cross, he is sending a strong message that more vigorous measures are to follow.

Renovation of the chapel soon will begin because, though a reconstruction of an earlier chapel, the present form and furnishings comport with 17th and 18th century Anglican requirements for a Christian place of worship — a PC heresy.

The next more dramatic step will be to pull down and destroy the large statue (adjacent to Blair hall) of the College’s founding president (1693) James Blair who served as both a minister of the Church of Scotland and the Church of England. During his long tenure as William and Mary president, Mr. Blair also served as the Bishop of London’s Commissary in Virginia, making him the Anglican Church’s leader in a colony that had no bishop.

Mr. Blair’s statue presents him in the garb of an Anglican clergyman of his day. Public display of such vestments at a liberal arts university such as William and Mary has also been declared PC-heretical by Mullah Nichol along with free thought and free speech and common sense.

Mullah Nichol has also decreed that a vigorous campaign to purify the campus of all historical Christian symbolism or reference will be on-going and may include public burning of the original charter or at least a replica of same if the original cannot be found. References therein dwell upon the training of young men for the Christian ministry. King William and Queen Mary were co-heads of the Church of England making all future reference to them inappropriate. Sources indicate that the school may need to be renamed because of this heretical tie to Christian monarchs.

As leader of the secular religion of PC at William and Mary, Mullah Nichol will soon rename the College. Mullah Nichol Taliban U. may be selected.

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2 responses to “Mullah Nichol”

  1. James Atticus Bowden Avatar
    James Atticus Bowden

    The Courts began the attack on ‘relgion’ (actually it is all about Christianity and Jesus Christ) in earnest in the 1960s. Most of what passes for ‘law’ on religion in the public square is a hodge-podge of Federal court decisions.

    The clueless, spineless, legislatures and executives at the state and federal levels have abdicated their constitutional duties to write and execute laws.

    So, interestingly, enough one of these decisions that stand, until fixed constitutionally, is from the former Klansman, rabid anti-Catholic, Hugo Black, who wrote that Human Secularism is a religion.

    Human Secularists hate that. They insist their atheism or agnosticism isn’t a religion because they are really anti-religion or un-religion or a-religious (or that their oh so private, personal, spiritual sissy Christianity is different but supported by Human Secularist thinking).

    I think Human Secularism is just a modern paganism. It worships the god with a small g – called Self. Although, its views on human life recall the practices of Baal and Asheroth. Big on baby killing.

    There is an ideological line of thinking for this modern paganism which manifests itself in the U.S. as a Puritan Liberalism. The Puritan adjective is a double entendre for the attitude and the lineage of his intellectual leaders and its home base.

    Some of the ideas can be traced Diocletian-Voltaire-Rousseau-Hegel-Kant
    Marx-Darwin-Nietzche-Dewey-Freud and are shared among Liberal Human Secularists, Nazi Human Secularists, and Communist Human Secularists.

    It’s really the intellectual lineage of the French Revolution and the French Enlightenment vs. the American and British Enlightenment. Gertrude Himmelfarb nailed it in her book.

    Liberals hate having their ideas identified with the Commies and Nazis. They hate that even more than being told their anti-Christianity free thinking is a religion of just plain old paganism. What the Apostle Paul called the natural man.

  2. Anonymous Avatar

    I think Mullah Genichol would like to blow up the Wren chapel with dynamite. Hopefully, he can get those annoying philosophy professors (who are in revolt against his PC cleansing campaign) and the staff of the Virginia Informer (a conservative student publication) into the chapel too so as to kill three birds with one stone.

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