Diversity in Virginia’s Higher Education

How many Virginia college students does it take to change a light bulb?

  • William & Mary students: Three, one to change the bulb and two to crack under the pressure.
  • Old Dominion students: Four, two to change the bulb and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.
  • Mary Washington students: The whole student body. There’s nothing else to do on weekends.
  • Mary Baldwin students: Four, one to change the light bulb, and three to figure out how it will help them meet their future husband.
  • Virginia Tech students: Three, one to change the bulb, and two to discuss how they did it just as well as a UVA student.
  • James Madison students: None, Harrisonburg doesn’t have electricity yet.
  • VCU students: None, downtown Richmond looks better in the dark.
  • Eastern Mennonite U students: Two, one to hold the candle, and the other to strike the flint.
  • VMI students: One Rat to actually change the bulb, one upperclassman to yell at him for not doing it fast enough, one to yell at him for not using the proper wattage, and one to send him up to the Rat Disciplinary Committee for letting the bulb burn out in the first place.
  • U of Richmond students: Two, one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
  • Hollins College students: None, that’s what maids are for.
  • Longwood students: None, the Farmville Super Wal-Mart has fluorescent lighting.
  • Hampden Sydney students: Five, one to actually change the light bulb, and four to figure out how this could get some Longwood girls to come over.
  • Radford students: Just one, but it takes six years.
  • Randolph-Macon students: None, they’ll just drink in the dark.
  • Washington and Lee students: Four, one to change the bulb, and three to talk about how great the old one was!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • George Mason students: Three, if they get lucky and one of them has taken the course at NOVA.
  • Sweet Briar students: One to change the bulb, and three to call up daddy and cry and complain about how awful the whole experience was.
  • UVa students: One, he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.

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5 responses to “Diversity in Virginia’s Higher Education”

  1. Anonymous Avatar

    Which one of the schools in our great Commonwealth taught you how to spell Diversiity (sic)?

  2. Anonymous Avatar

    This is old stuff … you’re not passing it off such wittiness as your own, are you?

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  4. James Atticus Bowden Avatar
    James Atticus Bowden

    I posted a piece by the great author Anonymous – not to be confused with Anonymous 9:45 pm. Never to be confused with Anonymous(es) who lack a sense of humor.

  5. Anonymous Avatar

    How many shcool of psychiatry students does it take to change a light bulb.

    Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

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