by Kerry Dougherty

I admit it. After decades in the news business I’m jaded. 

Bored, too.

Especially with the tedious, fear-inducing fluff pieces that news outlets sprinkle throughout the year as their reporters obediently attend press conferences and act as stenographers for bureaucrats.

You know, the stories with ridiculous “safety precautions” published year after year at Halloween that turn trick or treating into a weird evening of parents hovering around kids and forbidding them to eat at single M&M until Mommy and Daddy can examine their sugary booty. (You do know that there’s never been a verified case of a razor blade in apple, right? Yet this single urban legend is trotted out annually.)

Every July we get the usual warnings about the dangers of backyard fireworks for Independence Day. Apparently, somewhere out there, someone still needs to be told not to look down the business end of a bottle rocket.

Every August we get the same self-evident tips on surviving a heat wave: dress in light-colored clothing, drink water, stay out of the sun. 

Yep, somewhere in America there must be idiots who dress in black, march around at noon and refuse to drink water when the temperatures are in triple digits.

And this, being the first week in June, means state officials will issue stern warnings about hurricane season, which technically started on Monday and lasts until November 30, even though we rarely see a major storm before August. Continue reading.