by Kerry Dougherty

Quick. Call the cops. Seems I’ve been robbed.

Yup, sometime during the past year or two a prowler must have slipped into my house and made off with my valuables.

Once inside, he cleverly went past the stuff we’d miss right away, the TV, the pickleball paddles. This bandit took batteries – dozens of them – and cans of tuna. He pocketed peanut butter and duct tape. He absconded with flashlights, paper plates and wooden matches. Even our Band-Aids.

Gone. All gone.

I made this startling discovery Wednesday after seeing the front page of the paper.

“Youngkin Declares State Of Emergency Ahead Of Hurricane Helene,” it screamed.

Chances are we’ll be fine here in our little cul de sac by the sea. Due west of us? Not so much,

That’s when I thought about all of those procrastinators in Richmond who were headed to hardware stores, to fight over that last roll of duct tape and that last sheet of plywood.

I smiled smugly.

That will never be me. I know a thing or two about storms. I have a well-stocked hurricane kit..

Or so I thought. Read the whole thing.