Are Alligators Coming for the “Cooch?”


t came as a shock for Laurie Duncan.

This past Saturday, she was with her husband and 13-year-old daughter fishing on the Pasquotank River near South Mills, N.C. about five miles south of the Virginia border. There, amidst the marsh grass and cypress roots was a large, seven-foot-long alligator sunning itself. After a few pregnant moments, the gator slipped silently into the murky water.

State wildlife officials say that as the climate warms, gators are heading north.

I’m no gator expert, but I have spent a lot of time in Eastern N.C. over the past 50 plus years. My understanding had been that the northernmost breeding population of the American alligator was in the East Lake area a little west of Maneto, N.C. in a vast swamp known mostly by loggers and Air Force and Navy pilots who roar past in jet fighters, dropping practice bombs on several ranges. They are common in southeastern N.C. where some lie waiting for scraps from tourists visiting the USS north Carolina, a World War II battleship moored at Wilmington.

So, what’s next? Gators in D.C.’s reflecting pool?

I personally hope one shows up in Jim Bacon’s bird bath. Why? The lead Boomergeddon is a major denier of global warming. He’s in tune with Kenneth “The Cooch’s” efforts to harrass a poor former University of Virginia scientist who came up with the “Hockey stick” approach to dating warming on tree rings. The deniers, you see, say it has nothing to do with human activity.

It is probably caused by gators on the moon.

Peter Galuszka

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