Grumpy Old Men

By Peter Galuszka

Here I was, sitting in a strip mall Panera, waiting for the next electric socket to open up.

It was the aftermath of Hurricane Irene and I had been without electricity since 4:35 p.m. Saturday. I have a home office, so having no power can be deadly. Plenty of other people had the same problem, so we all hightailed it to Panera to borrow their power and local wifi so we could be in business (sort of).

It was there that I pondered the government role in disasters. Let’s see. Dominion (free market-private) was knocked out by a storm not as bad as Isabelle in 2003. So I had  no power. I went to Lowe’s (free market-private) to get some 6 volt batteries so my camp light would work at night. But Lowe’s was sold out. I had planned to go to the Chesterfield Public Library (public) to use their wifi but they were closed and if I recall budget cuts would keep them closed for a little while. So, I was at Panera (free market-private) waiting in line like the old USSR just so I could see if American Airlines (free-market-private) was flying that day so I could make it to Texas for a long-awaited business appointment.

My turn finally came. Just for fun, I tripped over to Bacon’s Rebellion to see what the boys were up to. I wish I hadn’t.

There’s Ole Norm Leahy giving us a completely pointless history lesson on what Grover Cleveland had to say about the federal government helping out in disasters. Essentially, not their problem, you should be on your own, relying on the magic of the free market.

Next there’s James A. Bacon quoting some right wing outfit saying that the first Bush declared disasters areas 43 times, then Clinton more, then W’ more,  then Obama (the most). I spent a few long moments watching the steam float from my coffee wondering what the hell Bacon’s point was. Then his fuzzy math became obvious: “43+89+130+340 = Obama’s a socialist!”

Considering all the hassle I had had that day because of the non-functioning of PRIVATE, FOR-PROFIT entities, I didn’t get just annoyed. I got pissed. Actually, the federal government DID work in Irene.

At least American Airlines worked and I got to Texas. The next day, work concluded, I had a couple of hours to kill. So I turned my shiny yellow Camaro I had rented and headed west through the scrappy, live oak-saturated and ultra-dry Hill Country to visit the LBJ ranch. Texas has been in the middle of and intense drought. Local columnists love to point out how conservatives still insist that it has absolutely nothing to do with humans and global warming.

LBJ’s first fight was trying to get the Hill Country electrified. This was back in the day that some sort of public or semi-public effort or cooperative was necessary in remote and poor areas that for-profit firms would not touch. Has to do the market, you see. And then I went through all of the exhibits about LBJ — Civil Rights Act, Medicare, Medicaid, Voting Rights Act. If Obama’s a socialist, then Johnson was Vladimir Lenin.

Anyway, I made it home the next day. And guess what? Still no electricity (Dominion–free market-private).