by Kerry Dougherty
Can we all agree that the halftime show at this year’s Super Bowl was a real stinker?
Unless dancing men in sequined jackets with underwear on their heads is your thing, that is. (Yes, I know those were supposed to be bandages, but they looked like tighty whities headgear.) As my radio partner, Mike Imprevento, quipped Monday, The Weekend should change his name to Tuesday Night.
Can we also agree that Tom Brady was magnificent? And that after the first series, the Buc’s offense found a rhythm and just clicked all night? And that the Buccaneer’s defense was on fire and left the super-talented Patrick Mahomes looking hapless as he picked grass out of his face mask?
Can we also agree that the Super Bowl commercials were underwhelming? And that the most cloying was the public service announcement by Jill Biden, AKA Joe’s Ventriloquist, reminding us to wear a mask?
“Please keep wearing your mask,” she says, patting Champ and Major. “EVEN WHEN YOU’RE WALKING YOUR DOG.”
Sorry, Dr. Jill, but that’s a hard NO.
Some of us prefer to follow the science that says the risk of catching Covid-19 outdoors is remote. In Virginia, we’re only required to wear masks outside when we can’t maintain a distance of six feet.
This “instruction” from the teacher-in-chief is especially infuriating because a stroll with man’s best friend is one of the most pleasant things to do. As a dog lover, I can tell you that the last walk of the night, when the stars are out and the world is quiet and you’re alone with your pooch, soothes the soul.
Now the party of pseudo-science is trying to spoil even that.
There is absolutely no reason – other than some sort of insane virtue signaling – that dog walking should be done in a mask. Unless you walk your dog in crowds, which is not the case for most of us. Dog walking is a solitary activity.
Look, if you want to wear a mask every time you venture outdoors, go for it. Just don’t pressure those of us with common sense to join you.
Fresh air is our friend in a pandemic.
With Jill Biden’s ad, masked dog walking joins other nonsensical edicts our leaders have attempted to foist on us.
Masking of five-year-olds, for instance. I dare some member of the media to ask Gov. Ralph Northam to produce the science behind that rule at his next press conference.
Here’s another: Virginia’s 25-person limit at indoor athletic events.
That limit is the same for John Paul Jones arena at the University of Virginia — with 14,593 seats — as it is at your local high school.
Science? Not even close.
How about that midnight-to-5 a.m. curfew? The only science the governor was able to cite for that emergency order was that when he was a teen his parents said nothing good happened after midnight.
Yet, since Northam issued Emergency Order #72, every Virginian is expected to abide by the Northam family’s crazy curfew. Guess we should be grateful his parents didn’t say nothing good happened after 8.
Here’s how this slice of absurdity works in the real world:
I received a message this week from someone affiliated with a local Christian school. The high school recently celebrated “Senior Night” after one of its basketball games.
In accordance with the governor’s idiotic orders, only 25 spectators could watch the game. But when it came to the Senior Night ceremony, that fit the definition of a social event, so the Governor’s 10-person rule kicked in.
Fifteen people had to get up and leave the gym.
That isn’t science. It’s voodoo.
This column is republished with permission from Kerry: Unemployed & Unedited.