America Needs a Diet, Not Doughnuts


by Kerry Dougherty

Everyone loves Krispy Kreme. But let’s be honest, doughnuts are the last thing America needs right now.

We were fat before the pandemic. We’re fatter now. And being fat puts you at a much higher risk for becoming seriously ill from from COVID.

At first I was skeptical about a report in The New York Times that said Americans under shelter-in-place orders may have gained almost 2 pounds per month. That’s 24 pounds since last year.

Then I saw The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America study that found 61% of its subjects said they “experienced undesired weight changes” in the past year. And it’s not just Boomers. The study claims millennials packed on an average of 41 pounds during the shutdowns.

Shoot, I don’t know a single person who’s gotten on a scale this year. No one knows exactly how much they weigh.

Yet it’s clear that a year of yoga pants and lockdowns left America a lot larger than when we wore real clothes. With waistbands. And zippers.

I talked to one professional whose office recently summoned back all workers. He remarked that everyone looked surprisingly “doughy.”

Not good.

Now this: To reward Americans for taking a vaccine, Krispy Kreme is offering one free glazed doughnut a day FOR A YEAR to anyone who’s been vaccinated against Covid. No purchase necessary.

I love the idea behind this offer. It’s the carrot and stick approach and carrots are always better than sticks.

Frankly, we need to be eating carrots. Not doughnuts.

Definitely not 365 doughnuts. At 190 calories each, that’s an extra 69,350 calories a year. Since it takes 3,500 calories to gain a pound, that could come out to an extra 19.81 extra pounds next year. Add that to last year’s poundage and you’re talking a lot of new customers for XXL racks.

Krispy Kreme’s heart is in the right place. It’s a cute promotion. Shoot, they’re even offering a consolation prize to those who choose not to be vaccinated. A free doughnut and cup of coffee to the unvaccinated on Mondays from March 29 to May 24, “To get your week off to a good start.”

But this is not what America needs.

A CDC study showed that 78% of those hospitalized with COVID were overweight or obese.

Blame America’s governors. They’re the ones who immediately closed gyms and beaches and parks and told people to stay home during the pandemic. Almost as if they don’t understand how the immune system works.

Now we’re rewarding those who get vaccinated with sugary confections.

Anyone else think we’re doing this all wrong?

This column is republished with permission from Kerry: Unemployed & Unedited.