political party, multiple personalities... Can you
say, "Play Misty for Me"?
(skití se freí ne a) n. A mental disorder
characterized by separation between thought and
emotions, by delusions, bizarre behavior, etc.
--Websterís New World Dictionary
two minds without a single thought.
--Philip Barry (1896-1949)
the Lord can see His way to bless the Republican
Party the way itís been carrying on, then the rest
of us ought to get it without even asking.
you think a two-party system is bad?
Try three. Thatís
what we have in Virginia now, three political
partiesóone Democratic and two Republican.
when you think things canít get any goofier,
F. Neel, a former treasurer of the Republican Party
of Virginia, files a complaint with the United
States Department of Justiceís Office of
Professional Responsibility against Paul J. McNulty,
the federal prosecutor who happens to be Republican,
for "protecting" George Allen, Jerry
Kilgore, and other assorted lesser lights in the
infamous "eavesdropping" case.
speaking of goofyóhowís this for tough
"settled" that little mess for
$750,000ómore than TWICE the legal exposure in the
guess itís just that gift-giving time of year,
isnít it? Or
maybe, just maybe, itís something else. Like
keeping Kilgore off the witness stand?
Giving the olí Scoutís honor is one
in the witness box under oath is something else.
aside here. Is
it not refreshing, for once, to see and hear a
politician brag about how much he didnít know
itís Christmas! Letís
give the kid a break.
Besides, Kilgoreís got his hands full.
And, no, Iím not talking about Tim Kaine.
Kilgoreís got his arms around all he can
tote way before he gets to Kaine.
mayor up in Warrenton.
He seems like a nice guy.
Probably some other folks still contemplating
getting in. Blood
in the water will do that.
And this two-party system is killing him.
Carrying one Republican Party on your back
would be bad enough. Try
the Republican chairman, the un-indicted one, Kate
Obenshain Griffin. I
nominate her for the "Cat Herder of the
she in a recent let-fly:
ďVirginians have sent a clear message in
overwhelming numbers that they are united behind the
values and principles of the Republican Party.Ē
one for you, Kate. Which Republican Party would that
be? The "Flat
hereís a good one for you:
How about the "Cold-Fusionists?"
You know this crowd, the
say-it-long-enough-say-it-loud-enough folks among
you who themselves believe in something for
nothingólike highways that donít cost money.
which "values and principles" do you
reference here? Go
over that one for me again, the "values and
while youíre mulling that one over, how about
giving a little thought to this one:
When is the Republican Party of Virginia
going to give any indication that the message was
is the Republican Party of Virginia going to give
some indication that any message was received?
Give us a sign.
A signal. Anything.
the thing, Kateóhereís the message your Virginia
Republicansóboth parties of themódid not get:
You won. You
can stop fighting. You
won, for crying out loud.
no, I donít bring this to your attention out of
some sense of chivalry.
I donít mind that you all continue to skin
each other up way after the election is overónot a
just thatÖ wellÖ
Claus is watching.
Note: The original version of this column was dated
January 4, 2005