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Great
stars and garter straps! Mark R. Warner is running
for president, sort of.
He’s
the new liberal-media darling for president - the
very dark dark-horse candidate, a Southern gentleman
and politician raised in Connecticut and the
Democratic dragon-slayer of Republican deficit
governments.
What
can the Blue Dog say favorably about our sitting
governor? In January 2003, Gov. Warner recommended
the Dog for admission to the Sorensen Institute for
Political Leader at University of Virginia. However,
the governor and the Blue Dog quickly parted ways
politically during the subsequent General Assembly
election.
Needless
to say, the Blue Dog is not a member of the Gov.
Mollycoddle majority fan club, but as a minority
columnist in the Commonwealth who possesses the
ability to see farther than the end of his cold dog
nose ...
There
must be a cold draft going through Haiti for a
Democrat to possess a 75 percent approval rating in
the Commonwealth. I'm guessing Warner's coattails
are pretty darn long - or Republican Jerry Kilgore
is really Mary Sue Terry in drag.
Because
honestly, folks, Tim "The Choir Boy"
Kaine's winning percentage surprised the Blue Dog,
err ... I meant to say shell-shocked the
Blue Dog.
Yessirree,
Choir Boy! You have added clout to the Mollycoddle
mystique. His Excellency is now being compared to
another Southern Democrat governor, Bill Clinton,
due to his appeal with moderate and independent
voters.
What
a bunch of baloney! The Clinton administration's
antitrust cops and agency hacks looking over
refining and distribution facilities did nothing to
stop the oil-company mergers and joint venture
mockery of classical competitive systems, but for
some reason America loves to celebrate its failures
and pay more at the pump.
Bubba
this, Bubba that has morphed into Mark this, Tax
that.
Err
- I meant to say Draft Warner, Draft Warner.
Time
rated Mark Warner as one of the five best governors
in America. Virginia winning numerous awards for
being the best-managed state is a selling point for
Warner. His Excellency is the billion-dollar
state-surplus crybaby and AAA bond-rating savior of
the Commonwealth wrapped up in one.
On
the other hand, Warner is known in Richmond as the
king of the tax-and-spend hill - his ability to
project budget-deficit numbers while spending more
and more of our taxes are truly a gift.
However,
in terms of the numbers game, that $200 million
personal fortune in the cell-phone industry doesn't
hurt his image, either. More to the point, it's
probably bankrolling this effort.
My
friend Deep Throat wrote, "With his bleached-
blonde hairdo and big fat wallet, those Democrats
are 'Girls Gone Wild' about lean and tall Mark
Warner." "He's a Southerner,
at least by adoption ... and by the pro-tax business
crowd, but he's not presidential material."
Forgive
me, Dry Throat, for not mentioning the words fiscal
conservative along with politicians 'Pub Congressman
Tom Davis or Dem Gov. Mark Warner. She can't stand
Davis, either.
By
the way, Davis, who is known as a lukewarm
Republican moderate that masquerades as a fiscal
conservative nursemaid to the D.C. government, said
Warner is "presidential material."
Oh,
please!
As
for his the fiscal-conservative logic, Warner said,
"After 20 years in business, I understand the
importance of low taxes - but also of investing for
the future."
In
2003, while advocating his fiscal-conservative
legacy in Virginia, Warner said, "Virginia's
tax system needs to be fixed. The time to act is
now. Do not send me any more studies. Do not send me
another piecemeal approach that confuses tinkering
with real reform."
Before
levying the largest tax increase in the 400-year
history of Virginia.
Hey,
Deep Throat! Have you performed a Mark Warner Web
search of late? There are lots of Web hits to be
had. Where's that gopher hammer?
Gopher
PAC
Warner's
name keeps popping up on the Internet like that
carnival game where you attempt to hit the popping
gopher with a rubber mallet.
Hit
the gopher.
Warner's
political machine is running wide open and full
throttle for the upcoming presidential sweepstakes
with the recent victory of fellow Democrat Tim Kaine.
Warner
has formed a federal PAC and placed his favorite
Girl Friday at the helm - that being the fabulous
Mary "Mame" Reiley, who is in charge of
his fund-raising apparatus and political machinery.
The Warner Forward Together PAC has 10 people on its
payroll.
Forward
Together, not to be confused with America Coming
Together, has also hired a former top aide to former
vice president Al Gore, Monica Dixon. Both are
presidential M&Ms - colorful keepsakes for the
long road ahead.
Is
there room for both heady and full-figured egos?
Grab
that Diet Coke, chocolate doughnut and sing your
hearts out, ladies: "All together now, all
together now, all together now, all together now
..."
Forward
Together
America
Coming Together
All
Together Now
Mame
has displayed the ability to throw her weight around
with the Virginia One PAC dollars, but she
definitely has extra baggage.
Matter
of fact, Warner has never quite explained the Mame-Moran
cooking the books connection to Virginia Democrats,
much less the national media.
As
Barbie utters the famous phrase "Math is
hard!" to the media hounds.
Oh,
Mollycoddle, that might be a problem, don't you
think?
No
pushover herself, Monica Dixon is the director of
field communications for America Coming Together and
of course, the unforgivable, bumbling and
self-defeating campaign of the Internet inventor
Gore.
Fast
forward - Monica is working for Forward Together.
To
tour the many presidential campaign PACS: www.gwu.edu/~action/2008/leadershippac08.html.
While
promising party unity, as they sharpen their
political knives before joining hands to sing out to
America: "All together now, all together now,
all together now, all together now ..."
Grant
us clemency!
Frequent
governor
Yes,
Gov. Mollycoddle says his "focus is on
Virginia," but political reality sings a
different tune - as a presidential toot my horn has
replaced his Virginia taxing fiddle.
So
far, Warner's "focus is on Virginia"
schedule has been engaged:
-
New York, Nov. 16
-
Boston, Nov. 17
-
New Hampshire, Nov. 18
-
Washington, D.C., Dec. 3
-
South Carolina, Dec. 7
-
Florida, Dec. 10-11
No
doubt, he's earning his frequent-flyer miles
focusing on Virginia. Mark, Mark, Mark ...
Those
pro-tax dancing Republicans - Chichester, Hanger,
Potts and Norment of the General Assembly - are sure
going to miss Gov. Warner's fiddle, but can always
join in a taxing choral society for highway
improvements with Kaine.
Come
on, RINOs, lets join with the Democrats and sing it
again: "All together now, all together now, all
together now, all together now ..."
Hard-core
conservative blogger John Birch requested that I not
forget to mention Warner's visit with the one-world
government organization earlier this year.
Birch wrote: "Gov. Mark Warner is associated
with the Bilderberg group, which has destroyed the
United States with free-trade agreements and is
working hard to globally enforce international taxes
and change our federal, state and local laws without
the approval of Congress."
Ouch!
JB
is the hammer of the Liberty Bell.
Oh
boy! That reminds the Blue Dog of the old 1970s Bob
Dylan tune "Talkin John Birch Paranoid
Blues," which describes an ultraconservative
anxiety attack:
"Well,
I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
"When
I run outa things to investigate.
"Couldn't
imagine doin' anything else,
"So
now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!"
Hope
I don't find out anything ... hmm, great God!"
God is great. But how paranoid blue are you?
'Nuff
said.
--
December 12, 2005
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