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Earlier
this month, tears dwelled in my big blue eyes as I
watched Mark Warner present his last governor's
address on television. It's boohoo time!
Alas....
His Excellency, the Mollycoddle, has finally
departed after highlighting how his gubernatorial
tenure "did change the tone in Richmond."
Oh
thank you, that is so kind and thoughtful of you.
But
did he mean to say those hair-color tones and blonde
highlights?
Err
... a light woody brown with blond tones, I might
add.
Warner's
sendoff as governor is a day late and surplus dollar
short. After all, Warner has been AWOL for the past
two months playing presidential dark horse, while
the state been running on tax-surplus autopilot with
Tim "The Choir Boy" Kaine waiting with his
angelic wings.
Warner
has been busy with his political-action committee as
he continued his gallivanting around the nation
touting his tax-and-spending successes in Virginia.
Meanwhile, a Democratic activist and apparent Warner
groupie in Virginia has formed a Hillary Clinton and
Mark Warner presidential committee.
Have
you ever played the game "Where's Waldo?"
As a result of developing his hunting prowess, the
Blue Dog has been keeping a political diary on Mark
Warner's world travel exploits. Well, it's time to
play the Blue Dog’s version of "Where's
Warner?"
Oh
yes! That Blue Dog can hunt, err ... search the
Internet.
Little
Red Riding Tax Hood
Remember,
Warner is the only governor who attended the 2005
Bilderberg conference with the elite corporate
globalists in Italy. Without a doubt, Warner is the
quintessential metrosexual trilateralist.
Mollycoddle loves to play globetrotter as well as
presidential wannabe.
While
featured on C-SPAN's "Road to the White
House" in November, Warner touted Virginia as
"the best-managed state in America." Oh
my, my - what big lies you have, Mr. Ex-Governor!
There's
no doubt this milquetoast Governor Mollycoddle has
his away game on. After all, Warner was rated as one
of Time's top five governors in 2005.
Mr.
Presidential Potential was seen wearing his game
face with his blonde hair color de jour and big
toothy grin as he spoke with bogus Southern accent
to the New Hampshire faithful. Oh my, my - what big
teeth you have, Governor!
Blue
Dog note: To the Dog's naysayers, Warner has
admitted those corn-chumpers are his "horse
teeth." Nonetheless, Warner is off to a rousing
non-existant campaign. No less to standing
ovations in the Granite State! Those dumb Yankee
Democrats were fawning all over Warner's fiscally
conservative game plan in Virginia, which was
nothing more than switcheroo liberal Democratic
tax-and-spend politics.
But
Governor, you do look so presidential! What big
plans you have!
Because
he represents the salvation of the issue-bankrupt
Democratic Party.
Truth
be known, the Blue Dog has always identified
Governor Mollycoddle as a Yellow Wolf, err ... I
meant to say Yellow Dog Democrat!
Oh
my, my - the better to eat up those taxes with
spending projects.
Who's
zooming who?
In
December, His Excellency issued his first death-row
clemency and unveiled his version of DNA
death-penalty politics to the mainstream. The
dubious decision probably had nothing to do with
avoiding the political distinction of presiding over
the nation's 1,000th death-penalty execution.
Absolutely, positively not!
Adding
icing to his presidential campaign cake, Warner
added state protections against employment
discrimination based on sexual orientation and
included the executive order in the state budget.
How odd. But that had nothing to do with Democratic
appeasement --absolutely, positively not! --
while his official kickoff for Forward Together PAC
and Love-fest blog along with Warner's presidential
aspirations took center stage in Virginia.
Absolutely,
positively yes!
As
Virginia Democrats dropped millions more into the
Warner's campaign coffers, the Democratic front-running
governor received a tan from his own glow. There's
nothing like paying homage to the Democratic golden
calf, err ... golden goose.
Although
Warner has not officially declared, it's the open
question and media speculation that sells a
presidential candidate to the public.
Heading
to New York, Warner touted educating the workforce
and winning "the race for the future." His
next stop was Orlando to court the Florida and the
Mickey Mouse Democratic donors at Walt Disney World,
where the local pressed hailed him as a common-sense
governor from a "notoriously anti-tax
state" who managed a tax increase.
However,
the media didn't note the huge state surplus due to
his exaggerated two-year projections for the state
budget, and of course, those bogus threats of an
endangered AAA-bond rating in 2004.
Later
in the month of December, the governor unveiled his
state budget, err ... without incoming Democratic
Gov. Tim Kaine's campaign-promised preschool
program.
Is
that another case of Warner political-doublespeak?
Governor
Mollycoddle proposed a $72 billion two-year budget,
which doles out millions in surplus tax dollars for
his campaign promises before leaving the governor's
mansion. There’s no way on God's green Earth that
the mandated state-salary and departmental-budget
increases recommended by Warner can be sustained
without another hefty tax increase in the next four
years.
Kaine
will never recover from Warner’s revolving debt.
In
a Forward Together e-mail, Warner wrote, "Since
the election, I've been able to do some traveling,
telling the story of our success in Virginia and
sharing what I believe to be the key elements of our
approach. The response has been very good. From New
Hampshire to Florida, Americans have turned out to
learn how a Democrat can do so well in a 'red
state.' "
Oh
please! Spare us your lessons in sloppy accounting
and fudging numbers.
There's
no doubt the state received a spending break, with
our lame-duck governor on the road again and again
taking care of his business, err ... the business of
self-promotion, that is to say.
At
the year's end, the Blue Dog received his annual
Season's Greetings card from the governor and his
family. I'm surprised the card didn't come postage
due.
--
January 30, 2006
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